emo monsta.

she replied: Watever la.


why do i feel hurt?

because it was me who was being emo.
it was me who was down.
it was me who made her feel down.
it was me who was being 'siu hei'...

and why do i still feel hurt when she replied me that?

emotions surge within me.
angry. hurt. irritated. moody.
all of it, at myself.

i know she's just joking with me. teasing me.

i dont know what's wrong with me.
i feel so moody. so down.. and i cant help it..
i know she loves me... and i trusts her... but why do i still feel this way?
why am i still so 'siu hei'...

but there are times when i feel like im in heaven.
like the time when she told me that i gave her a special feeling.
a feeling that she never felt before.

that she's in love with me.

no words could describe my feelings when she told me that...
it was so wonderful that i felt so light and fell in love with her even more...

i hate being in australia. i hate being away from her.
i hate it when other butches is interested in her.
i hate it when guys are interested in her.

i dont like her calling other people dar dar, honey, darling, sweetheart;
whatever nicknames that lovers use to call each other.
i only want her to call me that...

im jealous~~~~ down myself with vinegar....

down~~~ down~~~ down~~~

PLU can have babies... PLU can have sex... PLU can get married... PLU can raise kids... PLU can do so many things... why is it only considered normal when it is a guy and a girl who does all that? why?? just because the bible says so? just because religion says so? just because guys have sperms?? just because only girls can get pregnant???

HUARRRGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!


WTF. WTF. WTF. WTF. WTF.


i cant compete with a guy.
but i want to give you everything that you want...

everything that i can give...
i will give it to you...

i guess i gotta learn how to let go of little things.

baby, i love you so much.
3 more mths.
it'll passby soon enough.