The Law.

Originally uploaded by rachel.flubbz

I lost a friend on 22nd October 2009.
Even though he was only 26 when he left this world, he led a meaningful life filled with humor, wit and loads of love. He loved his family, friends, brought laughter and always welcomed new friends into his life.
I cherish the days of random chats that we had and regretted not making more of them. I always thought that we would bump into each other someday, somehow, somewhere.
I cannot even remember when was the last time I talked to you.
Maybe it was that brief moment a few months back when I bumped into you, shocked at the sight of your shaved head. Honestly, you look like a monk on a mission. Haha.

The images of you laughing, playing the guitar, that goofy mischievous smile and that cute ABC accent keep replaying in my head. I find myself constantly clicking the video links on Facebook where you showed your 'talents'. Haha. It never failed to make me laugh.

I'm glad and honored to have known you even if it's only for a brief period of time. Your parents were so strong and I reckon that's where you got your strengths from. You fought your inner demons so bravely alone and yet still able to shower the people around you with heaps of love and laughter. I admire you my friend. You're definitely a big loss to us. Although your departure was a choice, I envy you for having a reason to leave. It made me think twice about a lot of things. In tears, your mom reminded us that we shouldn't take anyone or anything for granted. I took our friendship for granted but you never forgotten me or any of your friends. Even those who are not close to you. Thank you for showing me that love is all that we need. A friendly smile, a cheerful hi, a small wave, a short conversation. Thank you Lawrance.

I saw a ring of rainbow around the sun yesterday. And I remembered your mom asking us to make a wish.

I wish you well on your way and may there be light along your path.
May angels lead you in.

So this is it for now my friend. See you again on the other side.

p.s: the sky was pink yesterday. Are you playing pranks on the angels already?! Haha. But it was so beautiful. I'll miss you dude.

a text about mangoes.

you made my day.


there is something I see in you.

And then there was L.
Although she was the only one who responded verbally to me (at The Court) thanks for the effort, but I reckon it's only out of politeness.
Now, why would I assume that?
That's because of the remarks she made about her room.
I feel so bloody unappreciated and angry at the same time.
I accompanied S to Subi & IKEA, bought all the decos, moved the furnitures, deco-ed the freaking room, cut the freaking paper to paste behind the freaking mirror.

After listing all of that, I realize that nobody asked me to do it.. I was the one who offered. I wanted to help S to surprise L. And I feel so guilty towards D now. Should have helped her deco-ed her room too.


I reckon I'm just getting the taste of my own medicine.
I singled D out and now I'm being singled out.
What comes around goes around.

I know.

And it hurts ever so badly every time L post up new pictures on Facebook. Her room, GK, B's Nerd surprise.

It hurts.

Godskitchen 2009

I held my head up high and walked into the scene with sheer confidence that I'll still have a good time without you all.
But after awhile, I found myself searching for you.
that usual sense of security.

I was alone in a corner.
And it was depressing.
Even though an ang moh dude and an ang moh chick was kind enough to ask me to join their group ( and I did have a considerable good amount of fun jumping around with them),
I wish I was around you guys.

Cosmic Gate was good but I would prolly enjoyed it more if I was with you guys, jumping and singing along.

Sigh. I miss those times.

So much.

where do you run to, escape from yourself?

*burp* omg, fish oil. *barf*

i do regret not buying the odourless fish oil instead. lol.
now i'm burping the fishy smell that makes me wanna barf.

that aside,

what more can you say when all has been said even though you did not manage to express yourself properly?
you can only wait. let fate takes its course and let time reveal it's goodness. noise is all around you and it takes time to clear the fuzziness away.

there are so many things in life that i refuse to see.
i zoom in and picked out everything that is an eye sore.
i refuse to budge from this comfort zone.
but i must. i must. and you must.
if not, how can we experience life?

hm, this 630am regime is doing me good.
although i'm only into my second week, i feel better.
you're pissed at me, i know.
and you need time to let it go.
it won't be the same again but i won't back down.
i cannot muck around and mope the whole day.
i have things to do.

a dream to chase, a life to live.

it's time to concentrate on me.
just me. a stable future is my priority.
and i need to repeat this for the hundredth millionth of time...
again and again.
i have to constantly remind myself that..

you will leave someday.