it's 3.01PM

here i am.
sitting in my boxers and singlet.

thought about esh's words last night on msn.
"i'm not just a pass student"

hmmn, suddenly i realise im such a slack.
i'm wasting time and throwing my opportunity away.
i've been blessed and given a chance to come over to study.
but all i do is laze around the house and play.

all i do is fucking PLAY.

i never seem to be able to learn my lessons.
it repeats day after day.
an ordeal after another.
i keep relapsing back to my usual routine of doing nothing.
absolutely nothing.

surely i've got more life than this.
i know im not a studious person.
but i can get the words out. if i try.

THAT'S IT!

i don't even bother trying.
all i aim for is pass.
my results are always slightly above fail.

wtf. am. i. thinking.

oh my god.
i'm so dependant.
so childish.
so ignorant.

i realise the facts but i won't do anything to change it.
i just let it pass as days goes by.
i've set my priorities wrongly.
jumbled up everything.
well, not exactly.
i'm just more of an activity person than sit down and type assignments.

gahh~~
i should have chosen screen and sound.
instead of stupid media with heaps of readings.

im more than halfway done.
i have to finish it.

but this is not what i want.