Ms Q

29th Feb 2008

Not exactly the day of my life.
Not the worse either.
Just striding in between glad and despair.
I finally got an answer from Ms Q...
Not really the answer i was expecting.
Actually, it was the answer i feared most...
in this whole freaking time...

I'm at a blur now..
What happened to us?
We were fine, we were happy.
And suddenly you backed out.
I don't know where i went wrong.
i guess the sparkle in us isnt strong enough to become fiery red.
yes, i know... there's loads of other people out there...
don't give up the whole forest just because of a tree...
i know lah... i've heard and gave the same advice to other people...
but its just the longing, the dreams, the imagination, the period, the time, the place, the situations... which didn't come...

left me here, hoping for something that i could do to change your mind..

xin li de bao bei bian cheng yan lei...
i did shed a tear, while passing the park, on the way home...
emotions overcame me and i just felt like crying..
i guess, this is normal for rejection... hahaha...

somehow, im glad that i hugged you to sleep that night..
somehow, i regretted hugging you to sleep that night..
somehow, i regretted ignoring the chances to hug you..
somehow, im glad that i've got an answer from that hug..

oh god... why does tis happen to me all the time..
am i that bad? do i suck that much? am i such a turnoff?

what the fuck.

i always can't attract the one i want.
always attract those whom i do not wish to go any further than friends.

you liked me before.
why this? why now?
where have the feeling gone?
i believe you do not know the answer either.
we sagittarius-es can move from a feeling to another at lightning speed.
but why do my mind still linger on you?

argh. i need to release this frustration in me.
i cant forget. i cant move.
all i know is that... i miss you...

zhen me neng wang.
shi jian duo chang.
ni yao de bu shi wo.
cheng jing gei ni de gan dong.
zhi shi qing xu de puo dong.
neng gei de bu shi wo.
wo bei yi wang zai ni yi wang de jiao luo.

the towel you gave me.. i didnt use it.. i hug it to sleep every night..
how silly of me.. hahaha... but, i guess i am that silly...

i keep comforting myself by singing to JJ Lin's "Qi Dai Ni De Ai"...
keep telling myself that one day, one fine day, you'll see me..
keep reminding myself that i could win back your heart if i try harder..
keep comforting myself that you're still young and you need time and space..
keeping faith that i have fate with you...

sigh, another effort. another girl. another hole. another dissapoinment.
when will this end? would you end this for me?
im tired laaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh...

knn cb! i hate this. i hate for being so useless. i hate me.

=.=