silly girl.

26.7.2008 Friday

why is my heart aching.
i've come to an understanding. but it's still aching.
please take this feeling away from me.
we're too close to be together.
our friendship is stronger.
and that is how it should be.
my mind is clear.
but why does my heart still ache?
i do not understand feelings.
never will i truly understand.
is this a feeling of lost?
is this a feeling of loneliness?
i was fine without you.
even when we first met.
why now. why does it only hurt now.
i know i care.
i know my heart is aching.
damn, did i really fell for you.
i am frowning.
trying to understand my feelings.
trying to understand what is my heart feeling.
trying to understand why do i feel so heartbroken.
we've never started.
and we're good friends.
but why do i still feel empty.
i did say that i dont mind.
as long as D can put a smile on your face.
i guess i can say it better than i can perform.
i liked it better when you didnt have anyone.
you're so near.
and yet, im afraid of losing you.
but i know i won't lose you.
joa asked "still not attached ah?"
i really wanted to answer "yeah, fell for the wrong person."
lol. that would be funny.
i guess you're not exactly the wrong person.
you just love me enough to not make me a rebound.
this distance between us will never change.
because we're too afraid to lose each other.
but what will you discover if i had left the world.
i wonder.
argh. my heart is still aching.
i wish it would just stop.
then i will have no more midnight pain.